How Diabetes Affected My Life

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How Diabetes Affected My Life

by Mokhtar
(Dubai, United Arab Emirates)

Dear All,

I am a 28 y/o male. I was diagnosed with type 1 IDDM when I was 14 y/o. And since then was when I started to lose faith and hope in myself. I wasn't very clear about the whole thing in the beginning but only in my early 20s when it started appearing like a dark curtain whenever I try with the "long run" type of thinking.

I wasn't regular with my insulin and I have never been until today. And why? Simply because it seems to me that I do not love myself enough. I don't think its because I'm stupid but because I only have enough love to give to everyone (who deserve of course) and nothing left for myself.

I had a lot of breakdowns because of Diabetes. I was admitted countless times in hospitals and reasons varying between hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, neuropathies, and lately retinopathy. I hate taking insulin and my main reason of all is the idea of being sick.

ISecondly, i hate the pain that's accompanied with the injection. I hate how slow it is to take the injection and how slow the pain is. And I also hate being forced to live a life which I do not want to live.

I am engaged now and I love my fiancee so much that it really hurts me being the way I am. Is it really me or there is someone else out there suffering the same.

No one seems to be caring much about me (family I mean) as no one shows any concern. Am I supposed to expect that from them? Is there any reason why they don't care much anymore? They have always tried in both good and bad ways to convince me to take good care of myself. I might have rejected them many times and mainly because i do not like the fact that I'm diabetic. Is this enough reason for them to give up on me and not even ask how am I doing?

I don't know. I really don't. But, all I know as far as now is that it is too late I think to wish not to be a diabetic anymore. I wish I would go 15 years back and hear that doctor saying "No, he's not Diabetic".

It's too late because we all now very well that I am not going anywhere from all those consequences. Sooner or later they'll come in my way.

Thank you for giving me this chance of getting this out of my system but I would be a liar if tell you that I feel any better.

I wonder if anyone will ever get to read this. But if you find it depressing like I do then please do not let others read it for them not to get negatively affected by it.

Yours faithfully,

Mokhtar

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How Diabetes Affected My Life

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To Mokhtar
by: Anonymous

Love yourself first, because you must honor the life you were given. Love will nourish and replenish you.

Hate the pain associated with the injections, but love the results. Know that all things are for a reason. Perhaps we don't know the reason, because it isn't time for us to know it. In the meantime, don't give up. Just know that you are where you are at for a reason. Conquer your fears and your lack of understanding with courage and determination.

Often, those whom we look to for emotional support don't give it, because they are victims of their own issues. Don't see it from a negative perspective. Look at it as a lack of resources on their part.

Now, you've come to dwell so much on your diabetes that you seem not to recognize the other things about yourself. You seem to have embraced the disability. You are feeding and nurturing the illness and you've not recognized the things about yourself that give you joy. Don't you see what you're doing? The diabetes, is king. The things about yourself to be happy about, you've imprisoned. You have a heart full of love. You have an intellect, a sense of humor, a great ability to communicate, you have youth and you no doubt have great compassion and sensitivity, having been diagnosed at 14 y/o.

Your fiancee loves you because of the qualities that you have. She doesn't love you out of pity. She doesn't love you because she has nothing better to do. She loves you because of who you are.

You've got to find a support group of others experiencing diabetes, so that you can talk things out. Never should you allow yourself to become depressed. It's just not good for the immune system.

Well Mokhtar, I wish the best for you. I don't know you, but you touched my heart.

Love,
J.S.

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Love yourself first, because you must honor the life you were given. Love will nourish and replenish you. Hate the pain associated with the injections, but love the results. Know that all things are for a reason. Perhaps we don't know the reason, because it isn't time for us to know it. In the meantime, don't give up. Just know that you are where you are at for a reason. Conquer your fears and your lack of understanding with courage and determination. Often, those whom we look to for emotional support don't give it, because they are victims of their own issues. Don't see it from a negative perspective. Look at it as a lack of resources on their part. Now, you've come to dwell so much on your diabetes that you seem not to recognize the other things about yourself. You seem to have embraced the disability. You are feeding and nurturing the illness and you've not recognized the things about yourself that give you joy. Don't you see what you're doing? The diabetes, is king. The things about yourself to be happy about, you've imprisoned. You have a heart full of love. You have an intellect, a sense of humor, a great ability to communicate, you have youth and you no doubt have great compassion and sensitivity, having been diagnosed at 14 y/o. Your fiancee loves you because of the qualities that you have. She doesn't love you out of pity. She doesn't love you because she has nothing better to do. She loves you because of who you are. You've got to find a support group of others experiencing diabetes, so that you can talk things out. Never should you allow yourself to become depressed. It's just not good for the immune system. Well Mokhtar, I wish the best for you. I don't know you, but you touched my heart. Love, J.S.

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How Diabetes Affected My Life

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How Diabetes Affected My Life